ARGHHH MY EYES! MY EYESSSSS…
I’m from the UK so right now I am feeling ashamed.
Halfway through the London 2012 Opening Ceremony, I yawned. In fact, I wanted to get off the sofa and take a shower, and I pressed my remote to see what else was on TV.
Yeah….what the hell did I just watch for the past 1 hour and 30 something minutes on BBC 1? It looked like a really bad pantomime…we saw people in rags and filthy dress and doing disco dancing moves that made me cringe. The choreography was just dreadful and everything was all muddled up….even the opening animation looked cheap. People were all over the place; the camera didn’t even know where to show (a shot of a man’s arm, anyone?). Then we had this random song 15 minutes before the ceremony began and people in farm clothes doing….something.
Then we saw this giant blow up baby on a bed and weird 10ft tall evil inflatable monsters-in-your-closet things waggle and wave around in the air and harass little children in their jammies and somehow that was celebrating the many years of Peter Pan, horror stories, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the NHS….Right. Okay, aside from that, the industrial revolution idea was a little interesting, watching the glowing rings flying up before fireworks exploding…okay, cool, that was pretty good…I quite like that, yeah….Hm, what next? Ooh, the Queen leapt out of a helicopter with Daniel Craig aka James Bond….wowzers… then we get to Rowan Atkinson dreaming about cheating on a race (which was the only good part, btw).
Then the rest…
There is only one word to sum it up and that is: HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH? (and this is me being kind)
I had a feeling they’d put in Mary Poppins in at some point. Fine, that’s cool. I was expecting some musical piece after that… but nooooo, nothing like happened. Instead, we got this cheap tween drama about the modern family which made me want to throw up in my mouth and preferably in someone else’s. What was with the kissing teenagers? GAG. Someone shoot me now. Then came the random flying text messages that made me cringe. Why don’t you just get neds and chavs in to do a re-enactment of that Irn Bru High School Musical commercial????? I think that’d be more interesting, actually. It looked like a really bad 5-minute show from Waterloo Road, and we have tonnes of tween melodrama there that DON’T NEED TO BE PUT INTO THE GADDAMN OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONY.
Overall, I appreciate the culture that was shown but everything else looked cheap, shoddy, out of place, and….really? that’s it? But… nothing really happened. Well, I probably learned about the history of TV and music…oh, and that some guy invented the World Wide Web…. This ceremony didn’t do the UK justice…Watching this felt like something you’d see from Children in Need…no, wait, Children in Need is even better. I won’t even compare this to Children in Need.
Don’t even get me started on the Closing Ceremony…
Again, it was a terrible mash up of artists and songs that ‘define’ Britain along with some camera man bias (some countries got more screentime than others). Now, I’m not Britain-bashing, but you don’t even have to watch it, you could just go to the local HMV music store and find a Now That’s What a Call 2012′ CD and believe me, all the songs would be there. To me it felt like managers and producers had paid an awful lot of money or at least bribed some of the Olympic Ceremony organisers to let their promoted popstars to be on the stage. Even then they were whizzing around in circles and circles on the back of vans.
As much as I enjoyed seeing the Spice Girls, they were given so little screentime it was a bit of a waste. I particularly didn’t enjoy seeing Jessie J singing about how it’s not about the money, money, money. Hmm, hardly appropriate. Truth to be told, I was far more entertained by the last ten minutes from the Brazil show.
I think what the Olympics Ceremony this year has demonstrated us what NOT to put in a show that is to be shown nation or worldwide. There’s no imagination to it. Don’t just throw popstars at us. That’s what music concerts are for. I expected a lot more for a Ceremony. I’m sorry to say, it was bland, boring and dull….but quite frankly, like Britain itself. So I guess the Ceremony did some form of justice to us. It just showed us how much of a boring country we are >_>