Wow. I haven’t posted up on my blog for donkeys because I lost internet access, but the first post I decide to put up since my absence is about a fanfic I have chosen to abandon! (it’s also a long post, sorry)
So…Well, the inevitable has finally happened. I have decided to discontinue my Reader-Insert story Agnus Dei because I just don’t have the time for it anymore. But I am not heartless to leave readers hanging, so here is the plot summary, as I have done with Revelation of the Last Hero, another one of my stories I discontinued. The plot summary for this story is not as well-developed as ROTLH, however.
(Also the more I read it myself and think about it myself, it seems pretty stupid and most of it does not make any sense whatsoever)
Since Agnus Dei was a Kuroshitsuji Sebastian x Reader fic, I decided to make things easier by giving the ‘reader’ a name for this post, which will be Darcy, just to avoid having to write ‘The Reader’ all the time (lol typical Victorian British name in some instances).
So what was Agnus Dei about?
Firstly, I’d like to saw that it was inspired by the myth about Faust.
He was an extremely smart scholar, but dissatisfied with what he already has, makes a deal with the devil. In exchange for his soul, he will gain unlimited knowledge.
Agnus Dei was roughly the same, except The Reader (aka Darcy), was ill and needed Sebastian, who is a demon, to look after her. Generally, Agnus Dei was about how Sebastian was contracted to serve a sickly young girl. He does so is because he has grown sick of devouring corrupted souls and decided he wanted a soul of ‘high quality’ and knew he would have to raise and tend to it himself, and what could be better than be picking up a diamond in the rough (ie, the Reader, aka Darcy). In return, Darcy would be dependent on him to look after her and care for her, so both ends meet. The story was supposed to span when she is 13, up until she is 18 years of age.
Also, I didn’t mention this, but the illness the Reader was suffering from, was most likely to be Tuberculosis, a disease that killed many people in the Victorian era.
At the very beginning, we meet Darcy who wakes up at a park with Sebastian already at her bidding. She discovers he is a demon and her butler; they leave London to a remote area where Sebastian has a mansion ready for them to live in, bestowed to him from a previous owner he once served. Darcy is suspicious and wary of Sebastian’s motives. The first few chapters showed how Darcy was strong and resolute about the inevitable outcome (that she would die) and that she had accepted her fate and illness, but when finally left alone to ponder about her life from now on, she had a strong hint of remorse and fear. Darcy is analogous to Ciel as I have said in an author’s note, except she is nicer to Sebastian and is grateful towards him.
Darcy was basically a girl who lived with her uncle after her parents could no longer provide for her. Trying to keep her from the workhouse, they thought sending her to live with relatives who were better off was, well, better. Except they didn’t realise Darcy’s uncle in fact made an unhealthy and risky living by selling organs. Darcy didn’t get on with her cousins very well and when Darcy’s uncle finances hit rock-bottom, she was put up on sale first. Scared, Darcy managed to run away and began disguising herself as a boy whilst working as a chimney sweep in London where she was inevitably caught by the Redwood Mental Health Institute – which maintains a public face and another – the public being an institute that treated mental patients, and the other where half of the ‘patients’ are in fact homeless people kidnapped off the streets and farmed for organs, or are subjected to ‘experimentation’.
This is the place Darcy is sent to, except she misunderstood their intentions – which were to develop a cure for a disease – and believed that they were just torturing people (which is also true, since they were, in general, laboratory guinea pigs). In a chapter showing a flashback, she witnessed a boy being taken away for treatment only for him to return back ill, before finally dying. When it is Darcy’s turn, they inflict her with the incurable disease and subject her constantly to injections with assumed cures and monitor her progress, except as the days go by, Darcy’s physical and mental health deteriorates – Darcy interprets her treatment as torture, causing her to summon Sebastian and they make a pact. He ends up destroying the asylum on her wishes and rescue her at the expense of 200+ people – patients and doctors alike.
The next morning, Sebastian has become her butler and this is where the story starts.
As the story goes by, Darcy’s bitterness and guilt eventually subsides; she actually gets better but it becomes apparent Darcy has side-effects from her treatment at the asylum. She was originally healthy but was made unhealthy. She now suffers from hallucinations, severe mood swings, sleepwalking, nightmares and violent outbursts. Sebastian tries to ease her and eventually nurses her back to health. At the same time, Darcy and Sebastian grow closer and she begins to trust him and see him as a valuable companion – he also gives her everything she wants and Darcy grows up somewhat spoiled and arrogant. She also begins to question if she is still suffering from her illness at all, or if she has become better.
The arrival of Grell Sutcliffe showed that he was meant to reap her soul but Sebastian was one step faster than him. His return when Darcy is around 14 years old throws Sebastian’s plans off track – he tells Darcy he is a Deathgod and because he was late in reaping her soul, he has no choice but to watch over her until she dies. Until then, he will protect her, but in the mean time, his love for Sebastian means he hates Darcy at the same time since Sebastian’s attention is focused only at her, his ‘Master’. This includes doing everything he can to sabotage the relationship between Sebastian and Darcy.
When she is 16, for example, Grell fixes her to go on a date with Ronald Knox. He also gets Darcy to run away and also brings one of Darcy’s cousins to the mansion who tries to coerce her back home with their uncle. Darcy becomes enraged and kills her cousin and when Sebastian buries the body, she tells him she has no idea why she did it, only that she wouldn’t let anyone to take her away from Sebastian. By then, Sebastian has grown a little concerned over her behaviour and realises he also no longer sees Darcy as merely a soul to be raised and eaten. He has started to grow slightly more attached than intended.
However, the final straw is when Darcy turns 18; Grell tells her that she is in fact, no longer ill, and that Sebastian didn’t tell her was because he wanted to isolate her from the locals and make her sheltered, weak and dependent on him. Feeling betrayed, Darcy flees from the house again and seeks refuge at the Faustus Household, who is owned by the rich and wealthy ‘best friend’ Darcy met on the train nearer the start of the story.
Darcy is further dragged into darkness when the best friend forces her to attend a costumed party and Darcy starts drinking and smoking (LOOL), ie, she does everything that begins to corrupt her soul; Sebastian realises she is beginning to succumb to materialism and greed and so goes to collect her. However, encouraged by the ‘best friend’, Darcy tells him that she no longer needs him. Sebastian then reveals his feelings for her. Darcy realises she has started to like Sebastian too, but not in the previous way she had before. She realises what she has become and returns home with Sebastian to resume her quiet life of solitude.
However, Darcy’s ‘best friend’ invites her to the Faustus house again, and despite Sebastian’s warnings, Darcy goes to visit. She finds out that her best friend is just like her; she too offered her soul, but not to one demon, but five – Claude, Hannah, and the triplets – in exchange for all the materialistic possessions she has right now. She tells Darcy this is how life should be and even though she will surrender her soul to them at the end, she has lived a well-off life. When Darcy refuses to join her best friend and become ‘allies’, she gets angry and tries to kill Darcy, only to have Darcy kill her by accident. Darcy realises although her best friend was given everything she wanted in the whole wide world, she was killed anyway (and by a friend, no doubt) when she was young and now her soul has to be eaten. Darcy comes to believe that fate will always find a way to catch up and god will punish those who give up on life or try to find an easy way around life by offering their souls to demons in exchange for things to make life easier/better. In a way, Darcy comes to believe that offering souls to demons was betraying humanity.
There are two endings –
In the first end, Darcy will die; after killing her best friend by accident, she is caught and taken to church where the priests have discovered her to be plagued and consumed by evil since she has been under Sebastian’s influence for so long. Imprisoned, she begins to question her life and all the things she has done, or in general, what living with Sebastian has turned her into. She is then subjected to exorcism but does not survive and Sebastian comes to devour her soul as agreed. She thanks him for all he has done for her and that although the existence and meaning of her life has been unclear, being with Sebastian was what made her life worthwhile. The Undertaker then comes along to perform her last rites.
In the second end, Darcy wakes up, but she is in the mental health institute and still ill, and left to ponder if what had happened was a dream or not or just another one of her hallucinations. But when a crow lands beside her, she smiles and calls it ‘Sebastian’, much like how she met Sebastian right at the start of the story.