Fish and Chip’s Adventures in Self Pity-land

Tired of me ranting and raving about old video games that everyone has played by now?

…well…here’s a post about myself. I’m not feeling very great. I got the cold from my sister because the computer is in her room and I’ve been going on the net quite a bit and it’s a real pity we don’t have wireless. If we did have wireless, I’d make a twitter account, go on Skype and chat with Top Top if we both have webcams and I’ll never leave the seat from my laptop EVER. Not even to pee.

Normally I don’t like blogging about myself because that’s in the ‘About Fish and Chips’ section. I am also prone to an incredible fear that I will appear angst and emo to you guys whenever I do write about myself. I cover it up by saying I complain too much. That’s half true. So I’m looking for jobs today online. I found this website for jobs in another country. Not that I am extremely confident in looking for a job at that certain country because although I am bilingual in at least two languages, English is obviously my forte. I would hate to embarrass myself with my poor language skills in the other language I am not great at, but I am afraid that might be the case if I ever do get a job in that country. The keyword being ‘If’. I don’t know about you, but everytime I go on my Facebook, I see all my friends and their latest, haribo-rainbow adventures in Uganda, helping starving orphans and building them gallant houses or how they spent Miami swimming with dolphins and children with learning diabilities, or attending Camp USA via BUNAC application.

(UPDATE – 6 SEPTEMBER. I recently checked my facebook, caught up with a few old friends and discovered a majority of my Facebook friends are either Engaged or Married. WHOA!)

As for me, my CV plain sucks.

I did go for an interview for an exchange placement and I don’t know how I passed because the questions were as hard as hell. Maybe it was because I kept smiling.

Golden rule in life and anything that comes your way: Keep smiling… it makes others wonder what you’re up to… Just kidding

But the money thing was an issue. I had to provide transport, accommodation, food, visas etc myself and my parents didn’t want to fund me either, and my sister didn’t have enough to help me. My student loan wasn’t enough either and I wasn’t ready to take an overdraft and get myself into debt. I was distraught as hell by the loss of such an experience and the fact I’d passed the Interview of hell but couldn’t even go to the damn thing and spent five days huddled up in my room with ten boxes of Kleenex.

I don’t know, but maybe I am just unambitious or it never occurred to me that I would want to do something life-changing like that. I would like to make myself a better person, but where do I begin? I don’t even know what I want to do in life! How sad is that????? I envy people who know what they want to do – I know a girl who told me she wanted to become a doctor in High school, and now she’s doing Immunology. At least she’s doing something… unlike me, still blogging to an invisible audience and writing goddamn fanfics that no-on gives a toss about, and drawing things that don’t even express my feelings. It’s funny how they say art is an expression of yourself. I can be positive and say I can’t fully express myself.

Money is also another problem… not that I have any money… I may have worked but those monies all went to contribute to my final year of University study. And in the end I just got a piece of paper with my name printed on it and a glossy holographic sticker seal of my university.

…whoa. This post about myself has ended up with me feeling sorry for myself -sigh-

Fish and Chips will be retreating into a state of self-evaluation an self-pity for the time being and will post again when she feels like it (maybe two or three days from now in a completely different inflection for she should have cheered up by then. She always does).

Good day to you all.


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