Me and my friends talk about world domination all the time.
Me, I play this city-building game on the PC called Master of Olympus where I have my own Ancient Greek city and build farms and shops and houses for people. Soon, I see little computer-animated people the size of ants immgrating across the screen to settle on the houses I’ve built and walking the roads I’ve constructed. A few hours later into gameplay, my population has dramatically increased from a puny populace of 500 to a whopping 10,000. I have 20 Hoplites and I am an extremely successful exporter of Wine and Olive Oil and bronze and I’ve set my sights on conquering Sparta and Athens and make them my vassal, make them pay 400 drachmas and a tribute of 3 fish baskets per year. My mind becomes warped with power and a desire to be even richer and greedier than before despite 30 full warehouses with more wine and olive oil enough to sustain me for the next 30 years of gameplay.
So, while I’m a virtual winner, there are people who have been winners in real-life. Thus, I’ve had a thought these days running through my mind:
Like…one day, Tesco will take over the world.
Maybe not the way McDonalds has. You know, McDonalidisation. They’re everywhere. McDonalds, that is, and its food and golden arches and Ronald McDonald. Big Mac. Chicken McSandwich. Chicken nuggets. There’s a McDonalds restaurant in almost every country. And they all have the same interior design and same menu (maybe with a few local twists) and same prices (perhaps) and same customer service. Read all about it in George Ritzer, ‘The McDonaldization of Society’ and the irrationality of rationality. It’s like a veil being lifted from your eyes. It’s always been there but not so apparent until you read Ritzer’s work. It makes you go ‘hmm’ and think twice about life. Is life just as irrational and bureacratic as Ritzer describes McDonaldisation? Think about it.
McDonalds is efficient, predictable, calculable… and… well, I forgot what the other one was, but the point here is, things are so standardised we don’t realise. We queue for everything – the bus, the train, to get into the cinema…to see the doctor… everything!
So… maybe it’s going to be Tesco next. I mean, they do insurance and stuff and they’re more popular than Morrisons and Asda (or so I think). So… in a few years… imagine this…
You pull up your car in a Tesco supermarket car park… You enter inside where it’s like a gigantic white and blue and red-decorated shopping mall with hundreds of shops inside… but everything’s all labelled Tesco…. Tesco Opticians… Tesco Top Shop… Tesco Phones4U…Tesco Chocolatiers… Tesco Pharmacists… Everything Tesco… And whoa! What’s this? Everyone’s wearing white, red and blue! Everyone you see, in the same outfit, because Tesco is cheap, fast and efficient and they’ve taken over all the shops… Holy fudge! You think, while you remain in your sweatpants and trainers and feeling sligtly uncool and clearly sticking out like a sore thumb, Tesco has taken over the world!
So, what will you do? Follow the lemmings? If you can’t beat ’em, join them? Like how Romans in Rome do, or whatever that motto was? Your choice. Heed my words, people… WORLD DOMINATION is nigh.